"home"

So this is my first many posts no doubt on my thoughts from and about the trip. so i'm gunna start with the concept of home and identity and how these ideas have/are changed/ing since going to sri lanka.

 

Growing up i always saw myself as well just myself, i knew i wasnt sri lankan, i didnt quite fit into all the customs and i didnt know the stories and i didnt think quite the same way as the sri lankan people i knew i mean id never even been there. but then i deffinately wasnt english, i saw things differently from english people, i knew things they didnt and i felt things that they didnt. so that left me, well cultureless as i saw it.

 

over the last 2 and half years ive been rethinking this idea, ive begun to enjoy and think well of my tamil/asian background, and also becoming more appreciative of my britishness, having grown up here and being educated here and most of my friends being british its obviously had an effect on my current identity. so im coming over to the idea that maybe i bennifit from having two nationalities, two cultures which instead of competing for dominance they can acctually be complimentary!

 

so where is home, is it where u lay your hat or is it where the heart is? oh so corny, hmm. its difficult to answer, am i allowed two homes, 3 or even 4? i feel at home in medway, london, colombo, jaffna and i am homesick for them all after getting back, i do miss it. i miss the people the culture, the climate, the way of life everything about the place i miss but then i missed england just as much while i was there. so what does it all mean, god knows just a bunch of feelings and thoughts i guess.

 

so who will i become sri lanka, british or whatever i dont think ill become anything in particular im just challenged to learn the best from both cultures, and to work for the advancement of both, in a fractured place the ability to see both sides of a situation is brilliant and i think that growing up with a foot in two worlds has given me that if no other skill to speak of. The ability to see two points of view, to truely see and empathise which two brothers at war is a difficult place to be but a place i think id quite like to be... like maybe the wrong word. maybe thats not who i am or what i do maybe its not even who i should be but i reckon it might be who i want to be.